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Why do Narcissists Destroy their own Families?

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20190721 10:31 a.m. Photograph of homepage taken
by Andeé Sea Cae Jak, ©SAQOTU Inc.

(Re-print of post by Frank Gallagher | edited, formatted and published November 11, 2020 for Remembrance Day and all of our soldiers, past and present.)

Narcissists will destroy their own families because they are dysfunctional and self-sabotaging. Destruction is the game that they enjoy playing with innocent people and they leave a path of destruction with every relationship and person that they have discarded or “ghosted”. These creatures have no problem pushing the “ABORT” button on girlfriends, boyfriends, families, children, friends, marriages and/or planned weddings—when they are being “unmasked” or exposed.


When you love a narcissist the right way, it only begs them to do wrong. Narcissists fight against the one thing that most people have long for:  to be genuinely loved by someone with no strings attached.

Narcissists usually do not come from loving families; therefore, they create the illusion of how they want to build a family through mimicry. They may enjoy watching a lot of reality-based television shows, situational comedies and movies involving relationships to get ideas of how they would want life to play out for them. Narcissists do not understand that people do not simply implement what they see on television, etcetera. Non-narcissist people do not mimic love: they experience love.

Narcissists create their own “fantasy life” by creating illusions of deep, meaningful relationships. They are, however, nothing but the enemy as they cook for you, sleep with you, say “I Love You”, have sex with you, enjoy dinner with you and raise children with you … all with a warm smile.

(Link to Frank Gallagher’s original post:

Andeé’s views on empathy: “What is Empathy? It falls somewhere between sympathy and compassion.”

“Abuse in Marriage & Divorce: Warning. As Goes the Marriage, so Goes the Divorce” by Sharon Zarozny

(Link to Anne Kingston’s article “We are the Dead”:

The thing that most victims do not understand is that they were never really part of a loving family. When it comes to having a narcissistic husband, wife, mother, father, sister or brother, these wicked individuals maintain relationships with innocent people in order to fool them.

Regarding romance and/or intimacy, narcissists want their victim to believe that they have finally met “the one”: someone with whom they can now build a beautiful life, grow old together and maintain a healthy, loving relationship.

To be honest, I believe that all narcissists find this sh*t to be funny—as they pretend to build something meaningful for their victims, only to one day decide to destroy what was built.

I seriously do believe that these clowns are laughing as they manipulate their victims during the relationship and they laugh watching them suffer as the relationship or “loving family” is sabotaged. Narcissists are excellent illusionists and can create the illusion of having a functional family when in reality the family was probably dysfunctional as hell.

Usually, when a victim looks back over the months or years, they will remember events that indicated the relationship or family was not quite right with this individual: many hints, many clues—all dismissed as little “personality quirks” because the “idealization” periods seemed to make up for the “devaluation” and “discard” periods.*

Narcissists will betray you in the end and trust me the betrayal will be indescribable.

They enter lives not to add … but to take away; so, remove them from your life immediately.

I have always said, a narcissist is nothing more than an enemy which preys on people. Infiltration usually occurs from the inside and the enemy will be revealed as being someone very close to you. Narcissists contaminate all relationships and will spread their radiation poisoning among innocent people … only to find this same poison has further destroyed themselves too. Narcissists do not consider anyone as family; just a source of energy supply for them to tap into when needed.

* See excellent description of the narcissistic cycle of abuse (idealization, devaluation, discard) here .

Understanding the parasitic, predator class

My thoughts on the multiple “sub-species” within humanity are summarized here.

My draft article “The Myth labelled Psychiatry” is here.

Meet Deirdre Moore (pen name:  Andeé Sea Cae Jak )